I've read many statements like, "Frustration is normal for people with aphasia," by notable Aphasia
organizations. This bugs me.
Why? Every person with aphasia goes through a process of grief and acceptance. However, once they
can accept their aphasia, this can become a turning point in their frustration and their ability to
communicate.
This is because our emotions affect the success of communication. And there's proof! See the
research by Sameer Ashaie, Rosalind Hurwitz and Leora Cherney from 2019.
Frustration is a key negative emotion, and it may negatively impact communication. But, frustration
is not the end point! The person with aphasia should not dwell in frustration. Resisting the
frustration may be key to improving communication.
For me, frustration is not good. If I can, I try to laugh and joke around. When I'm tired and it's
noisy and I think that I can't do aphasia well, I use my aphasia tools. Instead of being
frustrated, I practice with strategy.
But people with aphasia start off clueless about these strategies. Often, they might not even know
what aphasia is. I was lucky that my college friend, Karen, is a speech therapist. I could be like,
"All right, I trust in Karen. I accept it. I have five words right now after my stroke, but I have
faith that I can get better."
The care partner is very important for two main reasons: one is for tips on communication. The
other is the neuroplasticity and faith and belief – the growth mindset – they can help to foster.
The care partner should be the one to say, "You can do it. You can do it," until you are like,
"Okay I guess so." People with aphasia can often be sad and embarrassed when they are first
learning how to communicate with aphasia. The care partner helps with the growth mindset to
restructure their neuroplasticity: "Okay, more, more." They tell you that although parts of the
brain may have died, there are strategies to help. Having a supportive care partner is crucial for
growth.
Watch basketball star Stephen Curry coaching young people in this video.
We can use basketball plays as an analogy for communication. I've played basketball since I was
six, and sports have always been a big part of my life. When I was first beginning my journey to
recovery (and even now!), I liked to think about aphasia as similar to basketball. For me, thinking
in basketball really helps, but you may have your own sport or instrument or hobby that helps you.
You can think about this in terms of chess or even art.
In basketball terms though, backing up and waiting for the ball is like sitting at home watching TV
in the dark. "IT'S THE WEAKEST MOVE IN BASKETBALL." Like in basketball, waiting and waiting and
backing up in frustration is the least productive thing you could do.
What we can do is try to get open! Make another move! "Every other decision is the right one!" YOU
HAVE PLENTY TO CHOOSE FROM in every communication situation. Make a decision to move! When one
method doesn't work, instead of being frustrated, switch into creating a strategy.
Curry talks about making an offensive screen. Use your aphasia card!
Curry talks about making a front cut. Write the word or even the first letter!
Curry talks about making a back cut. Pull out your AAC app!
Curry talks about making space away from the ball. Use a gesture!
You have so many options…
How many times have you heard your SLP say that there are many options to support communication?
Use multi-modal methods, in terms of the textual, aural, linguistic, spatial, and visual resources
<ul>
<li>or modes.</li>
</ul>
Sure, I get tongue-tied because I'm tired, or I feel anxious and frustrated, or there's loud noise,
or I feel self-doubt or negative emotions – or all of the above! It definitely can feel
frustrating, but I try to find a way around it.
Rather than feeling frustrated about "plateauing," or days when I am worse, I instead rely on
self-awareness. When I'm tired, my speech is not good. Maybe my speech declines. But maybe it's
better in the early morning when I'm shopping at the grocery store because it's quiet. So instead
of being frustrated, I understand myself.
Recently, I was at my sister's 50th birthday celebration. The party was loud and I maybe knew five
friends but 30 I didn't know. So I started with, "I can't talk well. I have a speech problem called
aphasia."
I find that saying this helps me. When I say this:
<ul>
<li>This informs the stranger</li>
<li>The stranger is welcomed to the community</li>
<li>The stranger loses their bias</li>
<li>I can relax and communicate better</li>
</ul>
Don't "back up" in your frustration. Use the toolbox of strategies.
If people with aphasia, from mild to severe, become tired or anxious, it's challenging to talk in
the community. As a result, they become more frustrated.
So, make "another decision" on the court. You can develop strategies to deal with fatigue or
anxiety.
For example:
<ul>
<li>You can open up a conversation by saying, "I have a speech problem called aphasia" or show your
aphasia card</li>
<li>Use the tools in your Communication Toolbox: write, draw, use the whiteboard, or an AAC app, use
gestures, or show pictures</li>
<li>If you still have trouble, find a helper</li>
</ul>
When my car had a flat tire, I went to the gas station. I can't fully control one hand, so I
couldn't pump air in myself. And then I went to the gas attendant and said, "I have a speech
problem called aphasia. I need help with the tire." However, because the attendant was not good
with the air pressure gadget, I didn't end up receiving help.
At this point I was tired and hungry, so I walked home first. I walked and ate and felt better. So
I called my friend: "I can't do this. Could you please go and help?" When my first strategy didn't
work, I called my friend.
I have my communication toolbox, so I can relax and communicate better. I'm ready to conquer.
<hr>
<blockquote>
"If you want to be successful, it goes to the people that handle hard well." ~Kara Lawson, Duke
Women's Basketball Coach
</blockquote>
Look at the video. It inspires me!
<ul>
<li><a href="https://youtu.be/oDzfZOfNki4?si=yQ_VJNK0z8Fz3J7p" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kara Lawson on Handling Hard Well</a></li>
<li><a href="https://youtu.be/RCeeOunwIvo" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kara Lawson on Urgency and Growth</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/share/r/3P7MoT4px6v3zAAD/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Coach Rac: The just want to make you proud</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cz70Eg-OQzM/?igsh=NjZiM2M3MzIxNA%3D%3D" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">If you want confidence</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2Q0wY0M2dZ/?igsh=NjZiM2M3MzIxNA%3D%3D" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">3 worst mental mistakes</a></li>
</ul>
Inspirational Jujus:

Resources